(If you missed part 1, it's right here.)

Accompanied by his trusty servant, King Texas surveys the northern lands of his shrinking empire.

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 OLD WOMAN!
  Man!
  Old Man, Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
  I'm forty-three!


  What?
  I'm forty-three -- I'm not old!
  Well I can't just call you "Man!"
  Well you could say "Paul."

  Well I didn't know you were called "Paul"
  Well you didn't bother to find out, did you?
 I did say sorry about the "Old Woman" remark, but from behind you looked...
  What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
  Well I AM King...
  Oh, King huh? Very Nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated Imperialist Dogma and unfair revenue sharing contracts that perpetuate the economic and social differences in our conference! If there's ever going to be any progress...

  Paul, there's some lovely filth down here. *looks up* Oh, how d'you do?

  How do you do, good lady? I am Texas, King of the Big Twelve. Whose castle is that?
King of the who?
  The Big Twelve.
Who are the Big Twelve?
  Well, we all are. We're all in the Big Twelve, and I am your King.
  I didn't know we had a King. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
  You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the lower classes...
  Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
  Castle Osborne? No one lives there anymore.
  Then who is your lord?
  We don't have a lord!

  What?
  I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take turns to act as sort of an executive officer for the year.
  Yes.
  But all decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a series of weekly meetings in the fall.
  Yes, I see.
  By a simple majority in the case of internal affairs...
  Be quiet!
  ...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of external affairs...
  Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
  Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
  I am your King!

  Well I didn't vote for you!
  You don't vote for Kings.
 Well how'd you become King then?
  The lady of the Great Lakes, Danielle Beebe, her arm clad in the purest shimmering Armani, held aloft an exclusive television contract from the bosom of the city of fountains, signifying that by divine providence that I, Texas, was to be King of the Big Twelve. That is why I am your King!
 Listen, incompetent former Ohio Valley Conference commissioners distributing contracts under threat of their conference disbanding is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical conference realignment ceremony!
  BE QUIET!
 Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some idiot in a suit threw some money at you to keep you from leaving.
 SHUT UP!
 I mean, if I went around saying I was emperor because Wright Waters lobbed a stack of papers at me, they'd put me away!
  SHUT UP! WILL YOU SHUT UP!   *ATTACKS PAUL*
 Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
  SHUT UP! *SMACK*
 OH! COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!
  Bloody Peasant!
  What a give away! Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?
  Oh, the hell with this! Come, A&M!

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To be continued...