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Iowa State Win-Conversion Guide

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So, apparently a two win season at Iowa State can be seen as some sort of miracle. I'm wondering what more wins would have meant.... 

Wins What that means
1 "Rebuilding year"
2 Head coaching job at SEC school
3 Athletic Director responsibilities, too
4 You thought those Gene Chizik coins were cool? Just wait til they release the plates!
5 House seat in the Iowa legislature. I guarantee livestock will start being named after you, too.
6 Early frontrunner in 2012 Iowa Caucuses
7 I hear the Rams need a new coach.
8 You know, Gene Chizik played at Florida. Plus, Urban Meyer totally lost a game this year.
9 Joint appearance with Sarah Palin at RNC
10 Chizik: By the way, what's your least favorite country, Italy or France? Homer: Uh... France. Chizik: Ha, Ha! Nobody ever says Italy.
11 Mass casualties in face of impending apocalypse.
12 Impending apocalypse.